Twirling into Nothingness is a performance about identity, cultural reconciliation, and the impact of memory on one’s sense of self. As an immigrant, I left behind not only the sufferings of my heritage but also the potential gifts my culture and ancestors had to offer. In my quest for liberation from the chains of my past, I realized that by avoiding my origins, I had distanced myself from the beauty and wisdom my culture and ancestors could provide. This realization came during the Ancestral Memories workshop led by Tatiana Koroleva in May 2022. The workshop helped me to reconcile with my past, as I began to confront my reluctance to embrace the cultural gifts of my homeland, Iran. I gradually released the personal and collective memories of suffering passed down to me through generations, allowing space for opening to receive the gifts of insight, creativity, resilience, and strength inherited from my family and culture. For this performance, I worked with the Daf, a Persian percussion instrument, as a symbolic object of this journey. Accompanied by the soft, melodic sounds of the Setar, the Setar /səˈtär/(a string musical instrument from Iran), I relived the experience of shedding my past and stepping into the future. The performance began with me crawling out from the weight of memories—an effortful process of detaching from old narratives and facing the unknown future. As I looked toward the Daf, I saw the word Hietch inscribed on it in Persian calligraphy, meaning “nothingness.” This word became a focal point for contemplating a future unburdened by the past, one viewed through the lens of nothingness. Approaching it with wonder, curiosity, and openness, I allowed the Daf to guide me. The performance culminated in a trance-like state of surrender and joy as I danced and twirled, losing myself in the rhythm. For those fleeting moments, the Daf became an extension of my body, and I experienced a profound sense of liberation, free from the stories that once bound me.
To watch the video documentation of the performance, click here.